Stan "Mr. Fantastic" Billue
February, 2012 Newsletter
“Thank you for the Gift of another Gorgeous Day in Paradise.”
A view of the tropical St. Johns River
Monthly Newsletter February, 2012
Stan “Mr. Fanta$tic” Billue
World Class Sales Training, Motivation, Mentoring, Marketing,
Consulting and Copy Writing from one of the most
Respected, Ripped-off and Referred-to Sales Trainers alive !
CONTENTS:
[1] Personal Notes
[2] Top Quotes of the Month
[3] Humor for the Month
[4] Picture of the Month
[5] Something of Value
[6] Positive Tip
[7] Sales/Marketing Skill
[8] Current Special
[1] PERSONAL NOTES:
* Between the goofy weather and low water levels, the Bass Fishing is leaving a lot to be desired.
* I only caught 1 new Movie which was “Contraband” (great action)..
* Opps,,,I thought lightening had struck again with a beautiful 43 year old young Lady however after a wonderful week together, she decided she couldn’t keep up with me. :)
* I took in a 2 great 100 Lap Super Late Model Races at New Smyrna. One Race was during a full Moon and both Races featured Drivers with a couple of months of cabin fever built up so there was some awesome Racing and lots of wrecks. Needless to say during February I’ll be dividing my time between the World Series of Asphalt Car Racing at New Smyrna (9 straight nights) and the Dirt Nationals at Volusia Speedway (12 straight nights). * Why not send me a Friend Request at FaceBook at http://www.facebook.com/stan.billue
Remember to Work at having Fun in both your Personal and Professional Life.
[2] TOP QUOTES OF THE MONTH:
* "Things will turn out for the best when we make the best of the way things turn out.”
* "Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions."
* “The only exercise some people get nowadays is "jumping" to conclusions, "running"
down friends, "stretching" their money and "pushing" their luck!”
* “Perceptions determine our behavior so we should shift our focus from our actions to our attitude.”
* "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
For more Great Quotes go to www.StanBillue.com and click “Over 350 Positive Quotes”
[3] HUMOR OF THE MONTH:
Here is some great humor from the original Hollywood Squares, when they allowed the Stars to answer spontaneously. WARNING: A few of these “push the envelope”. What else would you expect from me? BTW, If you don’t laugh at least a few times, check for a pulse.
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q: True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q: According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q: What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A: George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: It’s considered bad taste to discuss 2 subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q: According to Ann Landers, is anything wrong with kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q: Back in the old days when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A: Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
And last but not least
Q: Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A: Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) Always remember: “WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING!”
[4] PICTURE OF THE MONTH:
Each month this year I’ll be featuring Pictures of Animals who I call “Friends”. I hope you enjoy,
[5] SOMETHING OF VALUE:
This is too true to be funny. The next time you hear a politician use the Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending OUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend however this might help your perspective.
A billion seconds ago was 1959.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans because it’s amazing what you can learn with some simple division. Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu (D) was asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans. What does this interesting number mean?
Well, if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman and child) you each get $516,528.
Or if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, you get $1,329,787.
Or if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.
HELLO! Are all your calculators broken?
Now consider these Taxes:
Building Permit Tax, CDL License Tax, Cigarette Tax. Corporate Income Tax, Dog License Tax, Federal Income Tax. Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA), Fishing License Tax. Food License Tax, Fuel Permit Tax, Gasoline Tax, Hunting License Tax, Inheritance Tax, Inventory Tax, IRS, Interest Charges (tax on top of tax), IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax), Liquor Tax, Luxury Tax, Marriage License Tax, Medicare Tax, Property Tax, Real Estate Tax, Service charge Taxes, Social Security Tax, Road Usage Tax (Truckers), Sales Taxes, Recreational Vehicle Tax, School Tax, State Income Tax, State Unemployment Tax (SUTA), Telephone Federal Excise Tax, Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax, Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax, Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax, Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax, Telephone State and Local Tax, Telephone Usage Charge Tax, Utility Tax, Vehicle License Registration Tax, Vehicle Sales Tax, Watercraft Registration Tax, Well Permit Tax and Workers Compensation Tax. Did I miss any?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our Nation was the most prosperous
in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, we had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened? Can you spell 'politicians'?
And we still have to Press '1' for English.
I hope this gets passed on.
BTW, for those of us who grew up in the 50’s or if you want to know what you missed, this will certainly take you down Memory Lane: http://oldfortyfives.com/TakeMeBackToTheFifties.htm
[6] POSITIVE TIP:
Choose to live by Choice and not by Chance, make Changes and not Excuses, be Motivated and not Manipulated, be Useful and not Used, Excel and not Compete, choose Self-Esteem instead of Self-Pity and listen to your Inner Voice and not the random Opinions of others.
[7] SALES / MARKETING SKILL:
Have you considered Partnering? Why not find a Company with a Product or Service which compliments yours? By promoting to each others List, you both can dramatically reduce your Marketing costs and both gain new Clients/Customers. Start with a nice Introduction from each other and then offer something of tremendous value. Remember that your cost of acquiring a new Customer was just sliced and diced and the real value of any New Customer is the length of time that they remain loyal to you.
[8] CURRENT SPECIAL:
In January I conducted a Webinar and anything that could go wrong did. The Screen was blank for 45 minutes, many people got locked out and there is no recorded replay. Since I had so much Egg on my Face that I felt like an Omelet, and to make up for this fiasco, I’m making available a very limited supply of the “Masters Package” that I offered during the Webinar to everyone.
For the cost of my Audio Series alone, you get the whole kit and kaboodle.
CLICK: http://www.stanbillue.com/Masters_Package_1.html for this incredible offer.
NOTE: I am still available for 1 “live” Speaking, Training or Consulting Date each month during 2012. Of course you can also use and abuse me for Sales Training, Mentoring, Marketing and Consulting by Phone at (407) 719-2020.
Make it a “FANTA$TIC” Future !
Stan Billue, CSP
sbillue@usa2net.net
www.StanBillue.com
I ASK FOR YOUR HELP: My Goal is to dramatically expand our Subscriber base. If you feel that my Monthly Newsletter and Weekly Marketing Tips have value, please consider spreading the word. If you cut and paste the little blurb below and send it to everyone on your Personal and Business eMail list, my Banker would appreciate it.
For some time I've been reading a monthly Newsletter and Weekly Marketing Tip from Stan Billue, one of North America's most highly rated Motivational Speakers and Telemarketing Sales Trainers. Each Month, he features a Sales and Marketing Skill to help you make more Money, a Motivational Tip to help you keep your head screwed on straight, plus Something of Value and some Humor. Sign up at www.StanBillue.com and I believe you will thank me for it.
Revised 2/1/12
